CHRISTMAS TAT Kieran Simkin Release: 27 November 2026 Clean / non-explicit ISRC: QT6HQ2683107 Down to the shops, everyone's rammed, Christmas crowds and bags in our hands, Don't know what you want — that's quite alright, I'll grab you something shiny tonight. Novelty socks and a gift-set pack, Spend all my money, never get it back, Wrap it up neat with a bow and a tag, Nothing says love like a five-quid bag. Oh, what fun, Oh, what cheer, Buy you something you won't use all year. We're buying Christmas tat, And we're having such a lovely time, Spending all the money that we haven't got, Just to show you that you're on our mind. Buy it, wrap it, smile and clap, “Oh, you shouldn't have!” — fancy that, Back of the cupboard, then out with the trash, Merry Christmas — have some tat! Secret Santa, ten-pound cap, Buy some rubbish for a bloke called Matt, Queue to the door, card gets declined, Christmas magic — isn't it divine? Rip off the wrap, grin and pretend, Keep the receipt so you can shift it again, Boxing Day comes, back in the sack, Queue at the counter to hand it straight back. Oh, what fun, Oh, what cheer, Buy you something you won't use all year. We're buying Christmas tat, And we're having such a lovely time, Spending all the money that we haven't got, Just to show you that you're on our mind. Buy it, wrap it, smile like that, “Oh, you shouldn't have!” — fancy that, Straight in a cupboard, back of the flat, Merry Christmas — have some tat! It's the thought that counts, So don't think twice, Grab a mug, a candle, Anything looks nice. Buy it quick, Wrap it fast, Christmas love Was built to last! Bath bomb for Mum, little candle for Nan, Lynx Africa box for every grown man, Slogan tee saying “Prosecco Queen”, It's thoughtful because it's wrapped in green. We're buying Christmas tat, And we're having such a lovely time, Spending all the money that we haven't got, Just to show you that you're on our mind. Buy it, wrap it, smile and clap, “Oh, you shouldn't have!” — fancy that, Straight in a cupboard, back of the flat, Merry Christmas — have some tat! Have some tat! Have some tat! Spend it, wrap it, bin the crap — Merry Christmas — Have some tat! Press use: please credit the release to Kieran Simkin.