Battling a Bin (Nigel Farage Vs Count BinFace)

Live from Clacton-on-Sea…
In the blue corner: Nigel Farage.
And in the other corner…
A bin.

He marched to the cameras with fire in his eyes,
Said, “Let the people judge me, I’ve had enough lies.”
He knew every doorstep, every road, every inn—
Thought he’d called an election he was certain to win.
He pictured the banners, the battle, the noise,
A conquering hero with his army of boys.
But Rupert took one look and said, “Count us out,”
And suddenly the master plan was filling with doubt.
Red walked away, blue followed behind,
Yellow and green said, “We’re wasting no time.”
He called for a war, let the circus begin—
Then the smoke cleared away…
And there stood a bin.

He set the trap,
He made the call,
Now there’s a bin
Standing ten feet tall.

Nigel Farage is fighting a bin,
How did he think this was ever a win?
Four-dimensional chess, but he fell right in—
Nigel Farage is fighting a bin.
Beat it, you’ve only beaten a bin,
Lose, and Count Binface gets in.
He set the trap, then he fell right in—
Nigel Farage is fighting a bin.

A bin!
A bin!
Nigel’s fighting a bin!
A bin!
A bin!
How do you spin that win?

Now he’s knocking on doors with a serious face,
While a silver-caped bin follows all round the place.
Every solemn announcement, each statesmanlike grin,
Ends up as a photograph beside a bin.
He can’t treat it as comedy, can’t laugh it away,
Because people in Clacton still get the final say.
He has to campaign like his future depends
On defeating a bin with some very good friends.
Every breakfast-time sofa, each headline and screen,
Asks how the great strategist got trapped in this scene.
He wanted the nation to witness him win—
Now the nation is watching him argue with a bin.

He set the trap,
He made the call,
Now there’s a bin
About to take it all.

Nigel Farage is fighting a bin,
How did he think this was ever a win?
Four-dimensional chess, but he fell right in—
Nigel Farage is fighting a bin.
Beat it, you’ve only beaten a bin,
Lose, and Count Binface gets in.
He set the trap, then he fell right in—
Nigel Farage is fighting a bin.

Nigel Farage is fighting a bin,
How did he think this was ever a win?
Four-dimensional chess, but he fell right in—
Nigel Farage is fighting a bin.
Beat it, you’ve only beaten a bin,
Lose, and Count Binface gets in.
He set the trap, then he fell right in—
Nigel Farage is fighting a bin.

A bin!
A bin!
Nigel’s fighting a bin!
He called the election—
Now the bin might win.